hardly hormal

Ok please hear my heart. I am not criticizing just trying to get some understanding. Plus, I usually stay away from this type of discussion (and politics) because all I need to know is God is good and God works. The truth is no human can fully understand God and the Bible so all the debates, too me, are dumb. They usually lead to arguments and I prefer peace.

Anyway,

A few times I have heard the teaching that God won’t work with a hurt, bruised or broken spirit. Only through a positive spirit does God supposedly work. Basically if we are down and depressed we lose our connection to God is what the teaching is saying.

Here is my issue and my confusion. The times in my life that God worked the most was when I was broken. The most significant spiritual revelations come to me when I am going through a severe challenge accompanied with lots of pain. Being honest, during those times I do lose MY connection because I stop praying, reading my bible, etc. But that is when I feel the closest to Him, and it is when He speaks to me the most.

Matthew 5:3

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
      for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

And again being honest, when I was living in a park in Hollywood homelesss I was not rejoicing (or tithing). I was spiritually bankrupt and God delivered me. This last year was crisis after crisis after crisis. When I had lots of faith and believed, fasted, sowed and staying positive through the storm things kept getting worse and worse and worse. Now that I am broken I see more clearly though my spiritual eyes. Now that I am broken God is starting to work miracles.

Please know I really am confused here and my only motivation is to find understanding.

Any thoughts?