Leadership | haRdLy NOrMal

Posts Tagged ‘Leadership’

Tech is changing things

Published by October 5th, 2008 in My Big Mouth

After reading that you are probably saying, “like duh”, but yesterday I had an epiphany (or maybe a brain hemorrhoid) while shopping for speaker stands. I was at the Best Buy in West Hollywood. I like Best Buy but this one is always a mad house. As I waited for service I started to tweet about how even if I set myself on fire I would not get help. Well, it is a public place, and gas is so expensive so I didn’t try it. What I did do is continue to tweet about the bad customer service. Ok, I tried but the manager kept interrupting my typing.

Now think about that. As we move forward we are becoming a mobile technology society. There is no privacy anymore. There isn’t!

Let’s say you have 20,849 people following you on twitter like Guy Kawasaki and you receive a damaged product, or horrible customer service – you can instantly let a mass of people know about your experience. That really changes everything.

Now let’s take this one step further and bring it into the church world. The preacher is telling everyone the bad economy including gas prices is their fault because they don’t have enough faith. A person sitting in the sanctuary can easily broadcast to the world the preacher is full of crap!

From my experience many church leaders work very hard to keep all communication controlled. Heck, for many writing a post like this is still considered a rebellious spirit yet nothing could be further from the truth. Open and honest communication is healthy. “Control or growth. Pick one.” -Rick Warren

Today I heard a preacher say that most church leaders try and control a person’s behaviors because it is easier than allowing God to change the person’s heart. WOW!

Too me I could not be more excited. Because of the advances in technology more and more people are speaking up against years of oppression, religious gimmicks, and wrong! I am sure this is scary for many leaders because their need for control is fueled by deep rooted insecurities.

The solution is to be real. Not just say you are real, but actually be authentic at all times. Leaders also must be vulnerable. I follow several Christian leaders on twitter and I just love and respect them even more when they show their real self.

Be real – always. Be honest – always. Do what is right even when others don’t and without exception! You just never know how many people are following that guy who is typing on his iPhone!

Non-compete in ministry

Published by August 5th, 2008 in Change, Church, Leadership, Managment, My Big Mouth

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First I have to come right out and say I only have myself to blame for being bit by a non- compete since I was the one who suggested to the church leadership were I was employed that it should be implemented.

I WAS WRONG!

If ministry is truly about building the Body of Christ it should not matter if an employee’s talents are used at the church down the road. A church leadership that implements a non-compete is 100% thinking about their own growth and not God’s people. It is a selfish action based on fear.

I have also seen church leadership carefully select who in the organization is asked to sign a non-compete agreement. If your co-workers are being asked to sign a non-compete and you are not asked it is an indication that leadership wants you to leave. This should be common sense. Leadership values the people it is concerned will leave and/or leave to help a nearby church grow and therefore requires a non-compete. One purposes of such an agreement is a scare tactic to get a valued employee to stick around. For those employees leadership does not value and actually wants to leave a non-compete may prolong their exit.

Employers rely on fear to get you to sign, and ignorance that you won’t check the laws in your state to see if a non-compete is enforceable. Some employers know, but don’t care, that their non-compete agreements are not enforceable. Each state has different labor laws and you need to do a little research before you sign anything! A non-compete is binding only if it’s reasonable in scope and necessary to protect the company’s interests. For example, it might be enforceable if it restricts you from working for a competitor for six months within a 25-mile radius, but not beyond that scope or if you can prove it will seriously impact your right to make a living. Remember – that state you live in wants you to be employed!

You should also be compensated for signing a non-compete. If you’re a new-hire at the time your employer asks you to sign, then employment alone might be compensation enough, at least for a court. But if you’ve already worked there for awhile and your employer doesn’t offer you an incentive to sign it, other than termination if you don’t, then a court might be on your side if you refused to sign and your employer retaliated.

The bottom line is this. Even though an employer gives a healthy Christmas bonus it still does not mean they don’t abuse employees with covert employment policies such as shunning. It is not right for any company or organization to abuse their workers and the church must elevate above all this mess and lead by example. This week I had several conversations with people who were deeply hurt by the ministry they worked for. These people are not victims because they worked through the hurt and continue to work for God. Telling the truth does not make you a victim, staying down does and without the truth people will continue to abuse people.

A preacher will stand behind the pulpit and claim we are not of the world, yet have their HR department implement a non-compete agreement. Please take a long hard honest look at yourself. Are the actions you are taking today motivated to help people, truly help ALL people, or just to keep you in control of the kingdom you created?

Please forgive the duplicate but I felt the following statement needed to be repeated:

Belonging before believing

Published by August 3rd, 2008 in Church, Leadership, My Big Mouth

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I hate Home Depot. I squirm every time I have to go there because I feel uncomfortable. I am not a handyman, and even though I do enjoy hard manual labor, I don’t have a clue about drywall, tools, paint, nails, hardware, or any of that home improvement stuff. Even if the sales person is nice I avoid them because I don’t speak the language.

I am going to be point blank honest here. If I was new to Christianity and walked into either of the last two churches I worked for I would not feel comfortable enough to want to “join the club”. Oh, I may have raised my hand near the end, filled out a salvation card because of peer pressure, I may even go down front and have an emotional release with tears running down my face. But my life would not have changed. I bet this is the case for most people although there are a small few that get “saved” and stick around a month, maybe more, which leadership uses as validation. A few people actually win the lottery every week , too.

Pastor Tommy and Matthew Barnett and all the staff at the Dream Center have loved me just the way I was, or am! They NEVER tried to change me or to have me conform to their way, they just loved me. Seriously, when I had 10 pieces of metal in my face, a mohawk and a 6′ iguana around my neck they loved me. When I wear a suit they love me. When I smoked cigarettes they loved me. Once, Pastor Matthew caught me off guard as I inhaled a cigarette. He put his arms around me and started to pray for me. I held my breath as long as I could and I eventually exhaled smoke right into his face as he was praying. He never said a word about it.

Today I didn’t carry a bible to church. Last Thursday I did. Same church and I felt comfortable either way. One church made me not only carry a bible but it had to be a certain kind of bible. Another church when I started to use my PDA as a bible I was chastised (the future is coming people, print bibles will be a thing of the past before you know it). What does it matter if you have a bible or not? Come on wake up! As an unchurched person I didn’t carry a bible. Walking into a church where having a bible is MANDITORY it would make me feel uncomfortable. It would make ANYONE who does not have a relationship with Jesus feel uncomfortable. Tell me, does holding a bible make me a better Christian? Please know I agree with carrying a bible but I don’t agree with making people feel uncomfortable if they don’t, or trying to control people to your ways!

I got on the subject about Windsor Crossing with a few friends who I love and respect. Windsor Crossing is a gorgeous church that has a sincere outreach focus and is one of the fastest growing ministries in the St Louis area. My friends said they went but the reason they didn’t like it is because people didn’t carry their bibles. HUH? I went there several times and I carried a bible. Some people did, and some didn’t, and that was not a big deal. The big deal was how Windsor effectively created community. I felt very comfortable there and that is probably the reason for their growth. As an unbeliever it would be easy for me to find friends and more importantly spiritual and emotional healing at Windsor. I felt welcomed and loved just the way I was.

A few months back I happened to witness one of the most horrifying situations I have ever seen in my 15 years of fulltime ministry. A homeless man went to the altar, but he was followed by armed police with handcuffs drawn. Street people by nature are very aware of everything that happens around them. I guarantee you this homeless man on his knees at the altar did not feel comfortable with police poised ready to pounce on him. As horrific as what that man must have been feeling it is not as bad as the impression that was given to the church, and especially people visiting. You may give toothpaste and water to homeless on the weekends but in your own” living room” clearly they are not welcomed. Ironically it is not the homeless population that presents a security risk. All the shootings that have happened in recent years the people looked like normal folk. Having security show such force over one homeless man at an altar is ignorant and shows the real heart of the church. Maybe not the pastor’s but the church he created and maintains. Sadly even though members of the church and many staff were very disturbed by police showing such an unnecessary show of force no one would voice their concerns to leadership. Nothing changed and the next person who looks a little unkempt most likely will be “greeted” the same way.

Is your church environment REALLY welcoming to the unbeliever? As Pastor Tommy and Matthew Barnett often say “if you don’t have a few beer cans and cigarette butts in front of your church you have a country club”. Of course, not all unchurched smoke and drink, the point is unless you allow people to be themselves chances are they won’t stick around long enough to have Jesus stick to their spirit.

Pastor Tommy is my hero. He loves everyone and loves them right where they are at. Because he and everyone else at the Dream Center has never tried to change me, or control me in anyway, I was made to feel like I belong, and now I believe.

Services at Angelus Temple/Dream Center are not for everyone meaning you may not like the music or the lights, but everyone no matter who you are or where you came from is made to feel welcome – and that makes all the difference.

People pay me to help their churches grow. I can tell you what a first time visitor thinks on the first visit and what questions they ask after 6 months. I can tell you when to call, what to write and how to train your greeters to go deeper. But the key to church growth is really none of that crap. Love on people with a sincere heart, don’t try and change anyone allowing everyone to be themselves, and create a healthy environment where people can feel like they belong. Then step back and let God do the rest!

The Lord said “I didn’t say that”

Published by August 1st, 2008 in Blogs, Change, Church, Leadership, Ministry, My Big Mouth

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This week I happened to have one of the most amazing experiences of my Christian walk. So amazing it might be considered a miracle. It was to me!

My boss held a “debrief” meeting to openly and honestly address a few concerns employees had about an all staff meeting held a few weeks earlier. In ministry, that alone was amazing because open and honest communication is often suppressed. As the meeting started we all got on the subject of saying “The Lord said…” and my boss, who was leading this meeting, said something like “we won’t have any, ‘and God said’, because when you say, ‘and God said’, how can you argue? God said it and that is that. We want truth and not manipulation.”

WHAT! No lightening? No locust? No one was fired for saying something that was straightforward and real?

As a team we then went on to discuss how the older generation of Christian leaders use “and the Lord said” as a form of manipulation. These are not bad people, they just don’t know any better. It is how they were taught because their leaders did the same thing. Chances are, God didn’t say anything and they are simply speaking their own personal wants. By adding “God said” it has to be God since he/she is a pastor, right? So you do it, believe it, swallow it, and the only thing God said is, “I didn’t say that”.

Too me, that is using the Lords name in vain. Yupper our grandmothers all used that scripture to keep us from swearing, but let’s be real. God’s name is used far too often for stuff He had nothing to do with, and mostly by pastors and their wives!

We also talked about how voicing a difference of option is NOT a rebellious spirit. And if anyone tells you it is a rebellious spirit they are trying to manipulate you. WHAT! Are you kidding me? How can that be? Question the man of God? That is what we are taught so we keep quiet and the church remains sick.

Many of you who are regular readers of hn.com (I can recommend a good clinical physiologist) know I have been writing about how the “old school” style of authoritarian leadership in the church MUST change, and is changing because of the internet. In posts like It’s too late for Jerry but is it too late for the church? I write about the lack of self-awareness and in A marketplace flop – how do you deal with failure? I write about what happens when organizations are not honest. Pretty much you can find that theme evolving throughout this blog, but for the most part it was my gut.

This last week I had a conversation with one of the most brilliant leaders nowadays who is literally influencing positive change throughout the Body of Christ. We were on the topic of how toxic leaders in the church world suppress honesty because they would have to face the false reality they have created. A reality that keeps them in an “ivory tower”, and keeps their church from truly being effective. Worse yet, these church leaders have a horrible effect on the views of the unchurched.

As we talked further and I continued to get more and more thrilled, without any prior communication my gut feelings were being echoed. We touched on the subject of change and how the internet finally gave suppressed believers a vehicle to speak open and honestly. Church leaders could no longer manipulate us into silence, and that not only is a good thing – it is a God thing!

I have to honestly say I am once again in awe of what God has done for me. I believe in the church yet after working the last 5 years in fulltime ministries that suppress the truth and refuse to see realty I was starting to give up hope. God has placed me in an organization that allows open communication and is on the forefront of change for thousands of churches, and a local church where loving people is not a pretense and much more than a tagline.

Leaders, if you don’t allow your people to speak openly and honestly you are closing yourself off to reality. If you only allow your opinion chances are you are a toxic leader and you hinder your own personal growth, and your own minsitries growth. You cannot control people’s thoughts so you might as well know what they are thinking. Open communication is healthy and it will lead to healthy change. Yes, there may be conflict but by running from conflict you are causing more harm than good. Only by working through conflit can we find real love.

If you are an employee or volunteer in an organization that does not allow open communication, and you have respectfully tried to influence change in a positive way to no avail – leave! The organization is not growing in a healthy direction and in time you too will become unhealthy. It is ok the leave. It is not a sin no matter what you are taught. You will be better off in a ministry where God can use your gifts and talents than remaining with a supressive leadership that is more concerned about control than doing what is right and truly being effective.

How can we encourage healthy change and healthy communication in everything we do?

Feel sorry for us we’re poor ministers and deserve a discount.

Published by June 21st, 2008 in Uncategorized

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I am having a fire sale on craigslist and one email I received attempted to manipulate the price by stating he was a campus pastor. Basically he was implying that I should feel sorry for the vocation he selected and give him a break. After all ministers don’t have money, right?

Well I called him on it. And to be honest, I have tried to play this card myself a few times. If you are in ministry chances are so have you.

I believe years ago it was even listed on license plates and clergy were given special treatment. Times have changed and even though many of the old school leaders want to bring the respect and protocol back, it is not going to happen. Actually I somewhat agree it should come back yet talking down to people will never bring respect back. I have seen firsthand a pastor alienate people by chastising them for not having military like protocol when addressing him. Some real truth for you. People don’t respect ministers and chastising them won’t bring that respect back. It just separates you more. We are in a new era and the religious and rigid views of yesteryear are long gone. Right or wrong they are gone forever!

This is where we are today. A few years back I was in a coffee house in Hollywood with a pastor friend of mine. A guy asked him what he did for a living. My friend gladly said he is a pastor thinking this is going to open a door. The guy then responded “so you like little boys?”

It is not the peoples fault. It is ours. We created this. The office of clergy, or reverend, or pastor, or bishop, or whatever title you want to give yourself, is no longer respected. And can you blame people?

I am not referring to the major highly publicized immoral failures. I am talking about how as Christians we are known to be cheap. Just ask any wait staff and they’ll tell you we’re horrible tippers. Plus, we try and manipulate people in the hopes of getting a reduced rate on a sale. There is more, you fill in the blank. We are jerks, liars, cheats, manipulators, and freaks!

10 years ago I was riding in the passenger seat of a brand new SUV crawling down Sunset Blvd. The driver was the son of one of the most famous pastors of our time. It was a nice day and we had the windows down just moving slowly in “parking lot” LA traffic. All of a sudden a LAPD motorcycle officer was parked on the side of the road only a few feet from my door. We were fast approaching and neither of us had our seat belts on. The cop was looking right at us so it would have been too obvious to quickly buckle up, so I simply opted to smile and say “hello officer”. “Hello”, he returned and followed with “pullover”, which we did. Now at the time I really was a poor minister. My income was $25 a week. The driver, son of a very famous high profile celebrity pastor, tried to talk his way out of the ticket by telling the officer how we feed the homeless and do the work of the Lord. That we don’t have much money because ministers that follow Jesus are poor. With registration in hand the officer asked if this was a new SUV. The driver said yes. The officer handed him the ticket and walked away. Of course, I honestly did not have the money for a $200 ticket and I had to go to court to request community service. If you have never enjoyed the LA court system or community services it is a treat.

(more…)

What I really wanted to say!

Published by June 20th, 2008 in Change, Character, Community, Customer Service, Just Me, Leadership, Learning, Life's Lessons, Managment, My Big Mouth

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Ahhh the feeling of freedom after being repressed.

For some time I was not allowed to be myself. To be completely honest I was employed at a place where people are not allowed to be honest and have to say things like “we are receiving our healing” instead of saying “I am sick” or “I have a cold”. Although I completely agree with positive thinking this type of environment is far from positive. People are scared to be real and it encourages people to be superficial. Even though the assumed intent is to create a positive workplace it actually produces the opposite since honestly is repressed!

When I wrote this post what I really wanted to say is:

If the local drycleaner cares more about people, genuinely cares more about people then the local church – there is something seriously wrong with the church!

Shunning is horrible

Published by June 17th, 2008 in Change, Character, Just Me, Leadership, Learning, Life's Lessons, Managment, Ministry, My Big Mouth

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Shunning is not of God. It is a form of manipulation and it is wrong. Usually people who shun others justify their actions with rationalization. “We’ll allow God to work” is one. Truth is by shunning you are limiting God by only allowing one solution to an issue. Just maybe God wants to teach a person how to have healthy confrontation and to communicate openly and honestly. Another reason people shun is to avoid confrontation. It is easier to avoid then to deal with an issue or person.

If you are a leader in an organization that shuns people – stop it! It is wrong. Learn to have healthy communication with people.

If you are an employee in an organization that shuns people – run away as fast as you can!

If you are a member of an organization that shuns people – leave immediately!

slowly coming back – topic: strategy

Published by June 14th, 2008 in Change, Character, Fundraising, Just Me, Leadership, Learning, Managment, Marketing, Media, Ministry

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Here is part of the great post Phil Cooke wrote about strategy:

But I’m shocked at the number of people that just keep doing the same thing year after year as if the direction of the ministry, audience numbers, response, income – whatever, will magically change. But getting from point A to point B doesn’t happen by accident. It happens through a well thought out plan.

And by the way – when it comes to churches – changing graphics, cool music, lighting effects, or dumping the choir robes isn’t a strategy. That’s just re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. You need a fundamental re-think of what story your church or ministry is trying to tell, what that means to your audience, how to connect with that audience, and why it’s absolutely urgent they respond right now.

I could not resist posting a comment. I am really getting the itch to blog again so even though I am not taking hn.com life just yet, I thought I would get a fix. Here is the comment. Please know this is not negative. It really is positive because if more people would actually have the courage to be honest then the church would become self-aware and actually be effective.

Personality driven church leaderships unconscious need for control always seems to override what is the right and quite possibly the most effective choice. They will say they want growth, yet in reality they just want to be the boss. More often than not these authoritarian style leaders hinder their own church growth.

It is not uncommon for the pastor’s wife to gather together a team of people who have no real experience in fundraising to sit around for an hour or more to “guess” out a strategy. No data is gathered and there is no research – just verbal guessing as to what may be effective. Everyone gets pumped up because they now feel important and heck, this stuff must work since they saw it used on TBN. The only real requirement to be included in the team is that the person will NOT be completely honest since the last thing leadership wants is the real truth. Even the selection of the team is a guessing game so several of the people chosen have no business being in a strategy meeting. A time and productivity waster all around!

Although a plan is made it really just sends the organization into busy mode wasting resources and time. If success happens it only is a result of the law of averages and luck. A proper strategy crafted by professionals would not only save time and money it would achieve the desired results quicker. Unless the desired result is to feed control issues than the ego would be bruised if a professional is consulted and Lord knows the King can’t have that.

It always amuses me that church leadership will contract an accounting firm because they see the worth in hiring a professional for those tasks, yet when it comes to marketing most believe they are “gifted” so they chose to shoot themselves in the foot. One pastor I know contracted a web designer and just told him to make the site. The designer lives in another state and has never been to this church. He is given no information at all yet instructed to make a “cutting edge” website. When I brought this up over dinner conversation the pastor said he didn’t have time and it was the web guy’s job anyway. I tried to explain the importance of a web presence and the ignorance in not giving the designer any direction or data, yet it fell on deaf ears. Another ministry I know sends out direct mail each month for two separate campaigns yet gives no information to the writer. The writer just guesses on content twice a month. Yup, true story. There is no strategy, no measuring effectiveness, and they continue to send out two mailings each month simply because “that is what ministries do”. Even though the ineffectiveness and the amount of money wasted has been brought up in the past they continue on as is. Same with TV, thousands of dollars spent each week for a show that has no direction. It is just there and the correct decision is either to put resources into the show or get off the air. Of course, the occasional ego boost the pastor receives in public keeps the show on the air. The sad part is this is not just one ministry but many.

Pride and ignorance don’t see themselves in the mirror. For the most part these are good men and women who are just blind. Can you just imagine how effective we could be if we had the courage to be completely honest with ourselves and became self-aware?