Growth | haRdLy NOrMal

Posts Tagged ‘growth’

Your life is being broadcast

Published by October 22nd, 2008 in Character, Church, Community, Future, Internet, Life's Lessons, My Big Mouth, Technology

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Wow! It’s been a long time since I made a post, and a lot has happened. Actually, I have like 20 posts in me, but because in the past my being open and honest was not allowed – I was scared – so I kept silent!

I wanted to write about my new job and my new boss, yet, because I knew when I posted a link to Brad’s blog he would find this blog, I kept procrastinating, and now it’s a mute point. Interesting enough, I did not actually realize how toxic some of my last situations were until I tried to function normally in a healthy environment. I mean, who else would have the coolest workplace, and be open to blogging, and open to voicing a difference of opinion than the guy behind churchmarketingsucks.com – yet I was conditioned for the last several years to not be myself – and it showed, because I was still too scared to be open and honest even though I was in a safe place.

I also wanted to write about control. As I went into this new job I worked extra hard to allow things to evolve around me without any interference by me. We either become control freaks, or become passive, in an attempt to avoid legitimate suffering, yet it is by going through legitimate suffering head on that we grow spiritually and emotionally. It was a great experience going into an organization and not as the boss. Nothing happened “my way”, and I loved every growth-packed minute of it. I actually believe that every mega church leader should go find a small church and work for two weeks each year as a lay person, and not be allowed to influence any decision. Basically seeing life from the other side. Not being the boss for a change was one of the best things that could have happened to me, but that is not the topic of this post.

There is so much that I want to write, and I wish my written communication skills were better so I could effectively communicate all that is my heart. I do regret allowing the oppression of my past situations to continue on into my new life. It’s not their fault, it’s mine! I made the choice to keep quiet, and that was the wrong choice!

What I feel compelled to write about is a change I see as our society becomes more voyeuristic and technology becomes more mobile. Like I said in the last post, I’m sure someone has already touched this topic so I may be behind, but it is very, very important. Now, it has actually come to life for me!

A few weeks back ICFG had to lay off 25 people, and I was one of them. For the record I want to say that although there is no easy way to let people go, ICFG had to make a hard decision, and they took very good care of us. You can tell if an organization has Jesus or not just by how they treat employees that are exiting, and former employees that for whatever reason moved on. Even though my time was short with Foursquare I am extremely impressed with their compassion and forward thinking.

The interesting part to all this is “Black Tuesday”, the day the layoffs took place, was broadcast over the internet via Twitter and Facebook. Some I have selected as a favorite on my Twitter page, which you can read here . Brad was twittering as it went down, and so were a few others in the office. It was weird, yet it is the future of how things are going to be – all of our lives will be broadcast over the internet – like it or not!

I believe the idea of a “big brother” watching us started with George Orwell’s movie 1984, but it’s not the government that is the soon-to-be big participator in broadcasting EVERYTHING, it’s little sister, Aunt Ruby, Johnny down the street, and Yilmaz over in Turkey. As we become more of a mobile technology world, more of OUR world will be broadcast to the Internet – AND NOT BY CHOICE!

As with anything there is good and bad. The good is people who do not have integrity will no longer be able to hide. The new world is all about transparency and vulnerability – everything will be exposed. The bad is there is no privacy anymore – none at all!

No matter if you like this or not, as in the case of “Black Tuesday” being broadcast over the internet, I didn’t have a choice, and neither do you. This train has left the station, and if you are not being real with people, LOTS of people will find out – and sooner than a you can click on a send button!

It’s too late for Jerry but is it too late for the church?

Published by June 25th, 2008 in Change, Just Me, Leadership, My Big Mouth

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There was a guy in my high school named Jerry. Jerry physically matured years ahead of his time. In 7th grade he was well over 6′ and 250 lbs. He was a giant and everyone was scared of him. Jerry was a jerk yet because we were all too scared to be honest with him his character defects were reinforced. As an adult Jerry turned out to be a complete ass and often hurts those around him! Jerry thinks he is the greatest and deep down he is a good guy with a big heart. But because he continues to believe the false reality he created around him he remains socially retarded

I feel the church is much like Jerry. Stuck on stupid and scared to hear the real truth. So scared of change that leadership works overtime to avoid reality! I am not commenting on any specific church but the church world as a whole. Lots of what I blog about are commonalities I have seen working in fulltime ministry the last 15 years.

Although my posts may be viewed (by some) as negative they are actually very positive. The church needs to wake up and become self-aware because we aren’t even making a dent. For the most part we puff ourselves up with “evangelistic” numbers and praise reports refusing to see reality. The feedback we receive is selective at best. Open and honest communication is a start and if leadership allows for such truthfulness, even at the risk of seeing their own faults, you are in a healthy organization. . If leadership does not allow genuine honesty they are not really leaders.

What I currently see is the church is being built around a personality and not the people. WWJD has turned into “what would pastor do”. Almost every single church staff meeting I have ever been a part of the biggest concern was pleasing the senior pastor. Being effective and helping people took a backseat to the desires of the King. An authoritarianism style of leadership is very common place in the church today ruling either by the use of fear or manipulating people with “blessings”! This style not only creates an ivory tower world to feed and protect their insecurities it does not allow open communication and honesty.

The internet is forcing change in the business world and orginizations are finding success by releasing control to the consumer. Like they have a choice! We are in a consumer driven world these days and the churches who are REALLY making a difference are the ones who engage the people, listen to the people, and allow the people to take some of the control. The churches that are finding real growth, for the most part, are placing people before “the man”. Many don’t even have a photo of the sr pastor on their webpage and promotional materials because they consciously make an effort to be much more than a personality.

I strongly believe the number one principle a leader can adopt, that will positively affect change resulting in genuine growth, is a culture of open and honest healthy communication. You may be able to keep their mouths shut but your people are going to think it anyway. You might as well know what they are thinking. Have a meeting with your people and start by asking “what would you tell me if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt there would be absolutely no repercussions?”, and then sit and listen, openly, without saying anything, allowing for real and honest feedback. (thanks Andy)

Of course, you may hear things you don’t want to hear. The truth hurts. I know for me it is the stuff that makes me mad, that I don’t want to hear, that I REALLY DO NEED TO HEAR. It may take a day or week for me to realize the person was right, and I was wrong. But the growth is worth the pain.

Here is a truth. No matter how loving you think you are, if you are a leader, people are scared to be honest with you. Chances are, too, that you actually play a part in reinforcing that fear. We don’t like change and we all believe our way is best so we unconsciously create a world to protect our own views. Ask yourself this: The people around you who are the closest to you and help you run the organization, do they challenge you or do they always just agree with you? Do they sometimes make you mad because they stand up for a different point of view? Do you encourage such dialog or shut it down? If you have surrounded yourself with all “yes men” and don’t have a person close to you that sometimes causes trouble, and has a different point of view then yours, you don’t feel comfortable with real honesty and you hurt your own growth.

Jerry is never going to change. The character defects have been reinforced for years and to be honest, Jerry likes it just the way it is with everyone too scared to be real with him.

How about you?

( click here to read an earlier post I wrote after reading that 85% of all project failures can be attributed to “organizational silence”)