Church | haRdLy NOrMal

Posts Tagged ‘Church’

Feel sorry for us we’re poor ministers and deserve a discount.

Published by June 21st, 2008 in Uncategorized

I am having a fire sale on craigslist and one email I received attempted to manipulate the price by stating he was a campus pastor. Basically he was implying that I should feel sorry for the vocation he selected and give him a break. After all ministers don’t have money, right?

Well I called him on it. And to be honest, I have tried to play this card myself a few times. If you are in ministry chances are so have you.

I believe years ago it was even listed on license plates and clergy were given special treatment. Times have changed and even though many of the old school leaders want to bring the respect and protocol back, it is not going to happen. Actually I somewhat agree it should come back yet talking down to people will never bring respect back. I have seen firsthand a pastor alienate people by chastising them for not having military like protocol when addressing him. Some real truth for you. People don’t respect ministers and chastising them won’t bring that respect back. It just separates you more. We are in a new era and the religious and rigid views of yesteryear are long gone. Right or wrong they are gone forever!

This is where we are today. A few years back I was in a coffee house in Hollywood with a pastor friend of mine. A guy asked him what he did for a living. My friend gladly said he is a pastor thinking this is going to open a door. The guy then responded “so you like little boys?”

It is not the peoples fault. It is ours. We created this. The office of clergy, or reverend, or pastor, or bishop, or whatever title you want to give yourself, is no longer respected. And can you blame people?

I am not referring to the major highly publicized immoral failures. I am talking about how as Christians we are known to be cheap. Just ask any wait staff and they’ll tell you we’re horrible tippers. Plus, we try and manipulate people in the hopes of getting a reduced rate on a sale. There is more, you fill in the blank. We are jerks, liars, cheats, manipulators, and freaks!

10 years ago I was riding in the passenger seat of a brand new SUV crawling down Sunset Blvd. The driver was the son of one of the most famous pastors of our time. It was a nice day and we had the windows down just moving slowly in “parking lot” LA traffic. All of a sudden a LAPD motorcycle officer was parked on the side of the road only a few feet from my door. We were fast approaching and neither of us had our seat belts on. The cop was looking right at us so it would have been too obvious to quickly buckle up, so I simply opted to smile and say “hello officer”. “Hello”, he returned and followed with “pullover”, which we did. Now at the time I really was a poor minister. My income was $25 a week. The driver, son of a very famous high profile celebrity pastor, tried to talk his way out of the ticket by telling the officer how we feed the homeless and do the work of the Lord. That we don’t have much money because ministers that follow Jesus are poor. With registration in hand the officer asked if this was a new SUV. The driver said yes. The officer handed him the ticket and walked away. Of course, I honestly did not have the money for a $200 ticket and I had to go to court to request community service. If you have never enjoyed the LA court system or community services it is a treat.

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Bless me or bless you?

Published by June 20th, 2008 in Change, Character, Community, Homeless, Just Me, Leadership, Learning, Life's Lessons, Managment, My Big Mouth, Outreach

2 Comments »

For the last 5 years I have worked in churches that were 75% focused on “bless me bless me” instead of blessing others. It was not until I needed help because I did not have money or food that I consciously saw the fallout from that style of ministry. When people focus on becoming a millionaire their hearts change. When leadership’s primary teaching is about receiving instead of giving, even though helping others is mentioned, giving unselfishly never becomes a priority or a lifestyle. A generous heart cannot grow when a person is constantly praying to receive.

A short time ago I had to apply for food stamps. Very humbling to say the least! At one point I was down to 3 cans of tuna. I found there are some very unselfish and genuine people in the world and I am in awe of the sacrifice they made to help me out. But none of those people attend a “bless me” church.

I say all that not to criticize the “bless me” churches, but to slap myself in the face! Thank goodness my original Christian foundation came from an outreach focused church because I continue to always put others before me, yet I am not proud of what I did or who I became these last several years. I compromised what I know to be right in so many ways.

Last week a couple handed me a large envelope of cash. The week before someone filled my fridge and another person paid my mortgage. When I told my best friend he said “God blessed you” yet I disagree! God does not bless with a new car or a fat check. God blesses with challenges that help you grow. We are confused. We all run around seeking “blessings” from God that are for the most part material stuff we’ll end up selling on craigslist. The new car only blesses for a short time as you show off to your neighbors. We are being trained to be selfish “bless me bless me” so we perceive, for the most part, that the only blessings from God are material or financial.

In my adult life the biggest blessings I have ever received where 1) homelessness 2) divorce 3) unexpected unemployment. Why would I say that? Because in each situation I grew to be a better person – I was truly blessed!

What I really wanted to say!

Published by June 20th, 2008 in Change, Character, Community, Customer Service, Just Me, Leadership, Learning, Life's Lessons, Managment, My Big Mouth

2 Comments »

Ahhh the feeling of freedom after being repressed.

For some time I was not allowed to be myself. To be completely honest I was employed at a place where people are not allowed to be honest and have to say things like “we are receiving our healing” instead of saying “I am sick” or “I have a cold”. Although I completely agree with positive thinking this type of environment is far from positive. People are scared to be real and it encourages people to be superficial. Even though the assumed intent is to create a positive workplace it actually produces the opposite since honestly is repressed!

When I wrote this post what I really wanted to say is:

If the local drycleaner cares more about people, genuinely cares more about people then the local church – there is something seriously wrong with the church!

slowly coming back – topic: strategy

Published by June 14th, 2008 in Change, Character, Fundraising, Just Me, Leadership, Learning, Managment, Marketing, Media, Ministry

1 Comment

Here is part of the great post Phil Cooke wrote about strategy:

But I’m shocked at the number of people that just keep doing the same thing year after year as if the direction of the ministry, audience numbers, response, income – whatever, will magically change. But getting from point A to point B doesn’t happen by accident. It happens through a well thought out plan.

And by the way – when it comes to churches – changing graphics, cool music, lighting effects, or dumping the choir robes isn’t a strategy. That’s just re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. You need a fundamental re-think of what story your church or ministry is trying to tell, what that means to your audience, how to connect with that audience, and why it’s absolutely urgent they respond right now.

I could not resist posting a comment. I am really getting the itch to blog again so even though I am not taking hn.com life just yet, I thought I would get a fix. Here is the comment. Please know this is not negative. It really is positive because if more people would actually have the courage to be honest then the church would become self-aware and actually be effective.

Personality driven church leaderships unconscious need for control always seems to override what is the right and quite possibly the most effective choice. They will say they want growth, yet in reality they just want to be the boss. More often than not these authoritarian style leaders hinder their own church growth.

It is not uncommon for the pastor’s wife to gather together a team of people who have no real experience in fundraising to sit around for an hour or more to “guess” out a strategy. No data is gathered and there is no research – just verbal guessing as to what may be effective. Everyone gets pumped up because they now feel important and heck, this stuff must work since they saw it used on TBN. The only real requirement to be included in the team is that the person will NOT be completely honest since the last thing leadership wants is the real truth. Even the selection of the team is a guessing game so several of the people chosen have no business being in a strategy meeting. A time and productivity waster all around!

Although a plan is made it really just sends the organization into busy mode wasting resources and time. If success happens it only is a result of the law of averages and luck. A proper strategy crafted by professionals would not only save time and money it would achieve the desired results quicker. Unless the desired result is to feed control issues than the ego would be bruised if a professional is consulted and Lord knows the King can’t have that.

It always amuses me that church leadership will contract an accounting firm because they see the worth in hiring a professional for those tasks, yet when it comes to marketing most believe they are “gifted” so they chose to shoot themselves in the foot. One pastor I know contracted a web designer and just told him to make the site. The designer lives in another state and has never been to this church. He is given no information at all yet instructed to make a “cutting edge” website. When I brought this up over dinner conversation the pastor said he didn’t have time and it was the web guy’s job anyway. I tried to explain the importance of a web presence and the ignorance in not giving the designer any direction or data, yet it fell on deaf ears. Another ministry I know sends out direct mail each month for two separate campaigns yet gives no information to the writer. The writer just guesses on content twice a month. Yup, true story. There is no strategy, no measuring effectiveness, and they continue to send out two mailings each month simply because “that is what ministries do”. Even though the ineffectiveness and the amount of money wasted has been brought up in the past they continue on as is. Same with TV, thousands of dollars spent each week for a show that has no direction. It is just there and the correct decision is either to put resources into the show or get off the air. Of course, the occasional ego boost the pastor receives in public keeps the show on the air. The sad part is this is not just one ministry but many.

Pride and ignorance don’t see themselves in the mirror. For the most part these are good men and women who are just blind. Can you just imagine how effective we could be if we had the courage to be completely honest with ourselves and became self-aware?