This past March I was in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, speaking at a homeless conference. Whenever I can I ask to be taken out with an outreach team to meet new people. I have to be honest, there is a reason I moved from Upstate New York to Sunny, Southern California – I hate cold! It was so cold I thought my face was going to fall off. I was close to asking them to take me back to the warm car when we saw a man in a doorway.

Donny has been homeless over twenty years. Watch the original video I taped that night here. He had nothing but a blanket and the heating vent from a local business to stay warm. I honestly don’t know how he survived.

Thanks to the wonderful people at Calgary Homeless Foundation Donny now has a home. After Donny’s video was posted the Calgary Homeless Foundation went out and found him to get Donny into housing! This is a near textbook model of why Housing First model works. It’s nearly impossible to get sober while living on the streets. People need dignity and self-worth. Once Donny was in an apartment he decided to change his life. He has stopped using drugs and is even looking for a job.

I was honored to spend some time with Donny this week. CTV News also covered the story with a powerful video you can watch here.

Mobile homelessness may be the fastest growing poverty demographic in America today. People lose their job, then their apartment, and do everything they can to keep their vehicle. In most communities it’s actually illegal to sleep in a car or RV making the life of a mobile homeless person even harder.

I have been in meetings in Los Angeles where all the stakeholders were “concerned”, yet no one would step up to allow mobile homeless to park on their property.

As many of you know I have been around the country and few times. The “Overnight Parking Program” run by St. Vincent de Paul in Lane County is the only mobile homeless services program I have seen or even heard of to date.

This interview is with Keith who runs the singles side of the program and their day center. What I didn’t know until this interview is they partner businesses who have land or parking space with responsible homeless people for security. That is AWESOME! Business get free security and our homeless friends get a place to park where they won’t be bothered.

This week I had to get a P.O. Box and it reminded of something that happened years ago that had a drastic effect on my getting out of homelessness. Most will probably think  it is just small thing and might not mean much. But for me it was a life-changer.

I had been kicked out of a homeless shelter and was back on the streets homeless. I had a little bit of clean time and did not want to go back to drinking and using. I went to my favorite AA meeting to get some strength to make it through another day. An “old-timer” named Charley had grown fond of me. Actually, Charley had become everyone’s adopted father. He had like 25 years sober and was full of wisdom. He always knew what to say at the right time and was a great guy for us to look up to.

After I shared my new situation Charley came up and handed me a twenty dollar bill. This was HUGE. I mean, twenty bucks to a dope fiend like me is a world of trouble. I knew I had to spend it quickly before the temptation kick in, but I didn’t know on what. (for the first few years of sobriety I purposely never carried more than $5 on me)

Whatever I bought I wanted to make it a wise purchase. $20 is not going to get me an apartment or even a hotel room so that was out. I thought about buying a good meal, or maybe bus tokens. Then I saw a sign for a 3-month P.O. Box rental for $15. I ran into the store and leased me a “space”. Finally, I actually owned something again. It was a little small. But it was mine. All mine. And get this – IT CAME WITH A KEY.

Having that “space” and a key in my pocket literally got me through some very dark times. That one key meant the world to me. I would sit in the park and daydream about my space saying to myself “I’m on my way back” years later while working at the Dream Center, I had a key to open every door on the ten building campus. When people saw my massive key ring they would laugh yet, all those keys did not give the same feeling that one key did. That mailbox with key may have been small but that mailbox and key had a huge impact on me.

OH WHAT A FEELING

After sleeping on the hard ground I’ll never forget the first night sleeping on a bed in a homeless shelter. The bed was the bottom bunk and a much worn mattress. But it felt like heaven. Years later when I moved into my first apartment I bought a $500 bed that new bed never even came close to felling as good.

After living and working at the Dream Center for a few years I had cleaned up my past enough to get a driver’s license. I remember the Dream Center had this beat-up car someone donated. It was not anything you’d want to be seen driving in. Truth is it wasn’t easy to drive, either. I remember the first time, after years of not driving, getting behind the wheel of that donated car and taking the ramp onto the 101 freeway. The feeling of freedom was overwhelming. Today I am seriously grateful that GMC has lent me a wonderful ride yet, it still does not give the feeling of that first time driving a car after homelessness.

What small things are you grateful for?

The impact of having people experiencing homelessness join me on stage at social media conferences is amazing.  It creates a ripple effect that travels around the world changing people’s perceptions on homelessness. The 140 Conference is a special community that has embraced and supported the work we do with homelessness. I am so very grateful for Jeff Pulver and the 140 community.

Watch Ann Marie in 2009 here and Rd in 2010 here. They both were literally homeless at the time. Now watch this short video:

Tomorrow around 5pm I take the stage with Carey Fuller, a homeless mother from Seattle. A local NYC homeless mom Stephanie will be joining as thanks to Jeff’s big heart. There may even be a few other surprises. All I know is tomorrow the possibilities for real, positive change are endless.

Many years ago, when I was working in television syndication, my department was hiring. A friend from another department recommended his friend who had two years sober. I interviewed my co-workers friend, Jack, but I had no intention of hiring him. Jack WAS a drug addict, and even with two years sober he could still use drugs.

To put this into perspective, at the time, I was on drugs. In fact, I was wasted. One of my responsibilities was managing one of the largest video tape vaults in Los Angeles. One day walking down the aisles I found thirteen shelves with cocaine on them. I called my three vault employees into my office to yell at them. But not for using drugs at work; I yelled at them for not cleaning up after themselves and not inviting me. Yet I would not hire Jack who had two years sober!

Jack was a good worker and another department eventually hired him. We somewhat became friends. At least we learned more about each other.

As many of you know I ended up homeless. I remember one night walking the streets and I ran into Jack. Jack reached into his wallet and handed me $20. It was very humbling that a man I would not hire because he was ONCE a drug addict was giving me money and I was homeless. The thought still wrecks me.

This week I was visiting a homeless shelter and Jack recognized me. I visit that shelter often, I have even talked to Jack a few times, but we just didn’t place each other. The last few months I was trying to grow my hair long but had it all chopped off this week. That’s what it took for us to connect. Jack had fallen and was back in a homeless shelter.

We talked for a bit. The full circle of life kind of slammed me. Jack was doing great for 14 years when something happened that caused him to start using again. At least he is on the right road again. He has a job and will be in housing soon.

I really don’t know how to end this post. I knew I had to share this story because it will resonate with someone. Crazy as life is I could not plan circumstances like these. All I know is that every day I am sober, this August 24th will be sixteen years, I am grateful my life has changed for the better.

Several months ago, Tim Richter, President & CEO of the Calgary Homeless Foundation, flew me into Calgary, Canada, to speak at their homeless services conference. It was a really amazing event and I was honored to be there. I didn’t know, however, how much the event was going to change my life.

The last two years I have road tripped across America. The journey has been amazing effecting real change at the national and community level. Literally,  people who were once homeless slept inside last night because of InvisiblePeople.tv’s road trips. There are lots of people that drive/walk/bike for homelessness and they are all needed to keep awareness going. But something Scott Harrison once said to me has stuck, “awareness is not enough”. What I do different is I use social media and YouTube to empower homeless people to tell their own stories. These road trips are not about me, they are about Rashid, Jean and her kids, Popcorn, Luke,  and all the wonderful people I meet that are experiencing homelessness.

I really wasn’t going to do a big road trip this year for a few reasons. Mostly, I thought skipping a year would help with momentum. I didn’t want these road trips to turn into “59th Annual Road Trip” and people get “used” to them. I am all about trying to get people to not be “used” to things like poverty and homelessness. Plus, in 2012, the Invisible People Movie will be released. There will be an outreach campaign with the movie so I figured I’d be on the road again. I just felt like this year I should do a few short trips. I was even looking at international travel to England and Australia. But that all changed.

When I got off the stage in Calgary, a very nice man,  Barry Davidson, Chair of Calgary’s Community Action Committee, came up and asked if I would drive around Canada this summer. Barry then went on to say that the Canada will help subsidize part of the cost.  “ARE YOU SERIOUS” I thought to myself, and the man was. My friends up north have not only come up with the seed money to get the road trip started, they are supporting this tour like I have never seen. When communities rally miracles happen, and looks like the whole country is going to rally. The possibilities are endless.

I really cannot explain it. I wish I could. There is something amazing happening in Canada. The first sign was when the CBC news show “Connect With Mark Kelley” interviewed me. Then there was the miracle night in Calgary where the community rallied to get Donny into housing, and Terry found his lost brother of 33 years, so when he died, he was with family and in a home. I was even given a Blackfoot name during a Blackfoot naming ceremony – a true honor! All this is happened before the tour even starts.

I was really only going to travel around Canada, then GMC lent me this AWESOME Terrain to cruise in style, Murphy Oil has offered gas while traveling in the states, Petro-Canada will be sponsoring your fuel in Canada will be sponsoring your fuel in Canada, and McDonolds provided gift cards (We still need travel sponsors and sponsors for socks. Please email roadtrip [at] invisiblepeople [dot] tv for info) so now I am driving from Los Angeles and back to Los Angeles.  I am so grateful for the help, but what’s cooler than the car, gas and Happy Meals, is the relationship of support.  This year, more than ever, I feel like there is a team behind me. This year, more than ever, we are going to effect real change and fight homelessness all around North America.

Here is a list of cities (subject to change)

• San Jose
• Eugene
• Seattle
• Victoria
• Vancouver
• Kelowna
• Calgary
• Lethbridge
• Edmonton
• Whitehorse
• Yellowknife
• Fort McMurray
• Saskatoon
• Regina
• Winnipeg
• Thunder Bay
• Sault Ste. Marie
• Detriot
• Toronto
• Goose Bay
• Ottawa
• Montreal
• Quebec
• Halifax
• St John’s
• Bangor
• Boston (speaking at Social Media Summit)
• Binghamton
• Cleveland
• Indianapolis
• Kanas City
• Fayatteville
• El Dorado
• Los Angeles (speaking at BlogWorld)

WOW! Just typing that list was overwhelming. If you have a homeless story in Canada and you’d like me to visit please email: tim [at] calgaryhomeless [dot] com. For U.S. stories please email: roadtrip [at] invisiblepeople [dot] tv. Since GM provided me with a “mobile office” I am working on creating a landing page that will have a dashboard camera so you all can ride along with me.

I really don’t have words to describe what I am feeling right now. Kind of a huge dose of gratitude and fear all at once.  Each time I start planning something like this I think I am insane. But the impact has been huge. There is no turning back now.

Over the last few years I have so many of you to thank for supporting not only me but our continued fight against homelessness. I have stated this from day one; InvisiblePeople.tv is not me – it is us – all of us! The only way to fight poverty and homelessness is by working together and trying new things. I honestly believe we can end homelessness. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t fight so hard to make it happen. I also believe InvisiblePeople.tv, although not your conventional way of doing things, will play an even bigger role in this fight against homelessness. Much of the impact may not even be seen as I inspire traditional organizations to start embracing change.

Even though this year’s American and Canadian Road Trip will be the biggest with the most impact to date, we have only just begun, all thanks to you and your continued support.

I just received this email and I cannot stop crying:

Dear Mark:

You may not remember me, but I am the sister-in-law of Terry. You did an interview with Terry Pettigrew in Calgary in March-April that made our lives turn up-side down.  Tery died this morning. But he passed peacefully with my husband by his side. We are so grateful for the work you do and the blessing of finding our brother for such a short but amazing time!! Thank you for that. If you ever come through here, or nearby, please look us up. We owe you a hug. Terry will no longer be homeless, his new home will be on our mantel. He was able to ensure that before he died. Don’t be sad, just know that all you do has paid off. God has truly blessed us with your work. Love and best wishes. God is only started to use you. We are praying for you.

Bev and Larry

Terry was a sweet man dying of cancer I first met while visiting a homeless shelter in Calgary, Canada. I was really moved by Terry and put his video up that very night. The local news media was with me when I visited Terry and The Calgary Herald put his story on their front page. They even included my video in their online version.

Terry’s brother, Larry, who he had no contact with for 34 years, saw the news story and the two brothers were reunited. Please read and watch the powerful video of the day they shared here.

There are no words to describe this miracle. I am so very grateful to have played a small part in Terry being reunited with his family for his last moments on Earth. Although homeless most of his life Terry died in a home with loving family. Here is the original video of Terry the night we met:

Photo credit: Lyle Aspinall

Photo credit: Barbara Cameron

That darn Seth Godin. Once again something he said is helping me take a risk. This time, though,  maybe the biggest risk of my life. If I was to trace the beginnings of InvisiblePeople.tv and We Are Visible it would point to Seth’s blog and all of his books, especially The Big Moo, which I listen to (I like audiobooks) every time I am faced with doubt that I cannot do something.  A few months ago, Shelene Bryan, founder of Skip1, invited me to hear Seth speak. Seth did a presentation based on his new book “Poke The Box”, and once again my emotions went into overdrive. It wasn’t that my ideas were birthed that night. Most of them have been brewing in me for some time now. But listening to Seth validated, again, that moving forward is really the only possible solution for personal and professional growth.

HOW I ENDED UP HERE

Back in July of 2008, after nine months of unemployment, I was offered a job in Los Angeles as the marketing manager for a major church denomination.  I took the gig very seriously as I would be responsible for the communications of 55,000 churches. I would also be working with Brad Abare, who many consider (me included) one of the top church marketers, and was excited to learn lots of new things.  This job offer could not have come at a better time. I had been unemployed since November of 2077 completely living off my credit cards. I applied for food stamps in May of 2008; and the emotional crush of heading back into homelessness was overwhelming. This was at the beginning of the recession so no one knew how bad it was going to get, yet because I made over six-figures, Burger King and Home Depot would not hire me (I tried), and marketing was being cut, and nonprofit marketing was being cut even more.  It was a very dark time in my life.

I had a nice three bedroom house with a pool in O’Fallon, Missouri, that I quickly put up for sale. I had been downsizing for some time selling most everything in the house to have some income. I figured I would rent a “ghetto” apartment in Hollywood for a year while the house sold. I grabbed the  lowest price apartment I could find in safe neighborhood that I knew. The plan was to only live here for a year while I sold the house and got used to my new job. Then I would move to a really nice apartment, start a new rock band, find a new wife, and vacation in Hawaii.  That really was the plan.

NEVER WASTE A GOOD CRISIS

The economy kept getting worse. Three months into my new ‘dream job’ they were forced to layoff fifty people. I was last in so that means first out. I found myself, once again, without income. But this time I had a mortgage on a house and rent on an apartment to pay. And with the economy getting worse, my house was not selling even after dropping the price $40,000 lower than what I paid for it. My credit cards were now maxed after living off them for so long. My dark life had returned with a vengeance. I often think about the wonderful people who helped me get through that dark time. Several helped pay my rent. New Hope, a church lead by Charles Lee, gave me food cards. And many of you took me out to eat. It is nothing short of a miracle that I didn’t end up back on the streets during that time.

As many of you know, it was in the middle of this crisis that I started InvisiblePeople.tv.

I lost my house to foreclosure. I didn’t really have any other choice. We are programmed to buy property and build our American Dream.  But I was powerless over any of this. Going through a foreclosure makes you feel dirty.

I HATE WHERE I LIVE

So there I sat in my ghetto apartment, which is where I still live. I keep telling myself it’s not that bad if you name the cockroaches. The apartment is one block from the Hollywood Blvd and the ‘circus’ in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater. It gets rather crazy. For example, when Michael Jackson died, numerous helicopters hovered nearly around the clock for days getting footage of people gathered around his star on the Walk of Fame. Outside my window is Hollywood High School’s football field, so there is sports and marching bands most of the year. And when school is out, the field is rented to just about anything. Toy Story had a play ground for months and the music is still embedded in my head. If that isn’t enough, Jimmy Kimmel Live is a few hundred feet away. When I come home from a long day of working with homeless people I just want some peace, but instead get Jimmy’s musical guests sound checking and setting of car alarms. Sleep from Thursday night to Sunday night is impossible after 2am when the Hollywood clubs close and drunks walk back to their cars. Well, sleep any night is spotty because of the noise from Hollywood. But probably the worst is the dirty building that is not maintained. The bathtub is disgusting even at bachelor standards, and I am still not sure the water in this building is safe.

EIGHT YEARS TO GET OUT OF HOMELESSNESS

I am one of the lucky ones. I got out of street homelessness rather quickly. But it took eight years of living in a church program before I had a normal life and was no longer homeless. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that church provided me with a place to live. But I always had to share a room with others and bathrooms were down the hall shared by many. Freedom of choice was not something I was given. It was a communal lifestyle where everyone knew everyone’s business. I really love the church that helped me, they help more people than most, but like many faith based programs they are not very good at getting people back into society. There were many good times with great people I will cherish, but it was a very long eight years before I was able to be the person God would want me to be.

Maybe the best day of my life was the day I moved out of the church into an apartment. I had saved up every penny because I was sick of donated everything. I wanted my fresh start to be a real fresh start. I went around Los Angeles shopping for the best deals that could be delivered. I unlocked my empty, new apartment one Saturday morning and waited for delivery men to show up. By the end of the day I had a furnished apartment of all new stuff. It wasn’t the most expensive stuff, but it was my stuff and it was new stuff. I had a home! My home! And I was no longer homeless.

Since then I have moved several times but I always had a place of my own to call home. It’s a safety net of comfort for me.  I hated the hopelessness of living on the streets and it took me EIGHT YEARS to get my life back. It was hard work. Really hard work. Having an apartment is much more than stuff. It’s the reward of my hard work and validates I am no longer homeless.

GOING HOMELESS BY CHOICE

The last two summers I have driven around the U.S. and paid for rent on an apartment I hate while I was not even here. That does not make much sense, unless you know some of the history and my fear of being homeless again.  Being honest, I never expected any of what has happened to happen, so having an apartment to fall back on gave me comfort. Plus, the road trips happened so fast there was not really enough time to sublet or move. This year it’s different.

For a long time I have had this feeling that if I wasn’t bound by an apartment, and having to raise money for rent, I could travel more to all the hotspots of homelessness when they happen. When I see something in the news about homelessness I would love to have the freedom and resources to travel and help the homeless cause while the story is still in the public’s eye.  Eventually InvisiblePeople.tv will get to that point.

Placing what little stuff I have left into storage and leaving this apartment has seemed like the smart move. But my emotions scream real loud with fear when I think about it. Seth describes this as the  “lizard brain”. When I heard Seth speak I knew I had to face this fear head on. My friend Greg Hartle also helped me fight this fear. He is traveling the country with only “Ten Dollars and a Laptop”. We spent some time at SOBCon this year and Greg says he is “an evangelist for possibilities”. I like that.

This week I faced another fear and sold my car. Yes, I have this awesome GMC Terrain, but it’s only a loan for a period of time. Not having a vehicle in Southern California is insane. But I could not afford to pay for two parking spaces and storing my car while I drove the Terrain didn’t make sense.

On June 1st I will give notice I am moving out of this apartment. I will give most everything that is of value to homeless families when they move into apartments starting a new life. I will be homeless by choice.

I have no idea what is going to happen when I return to Los Angeles in November. I actually am trying not to think about it. I will be going back to PATH Achieve Glendale to help with the winter shelter season. But I won’t have a place to come back to. I won’t have a “home”!

HOME IS…

This really has started me thinking about “what is home?”. I mean, this is not like the first time I was homeless. When I was on the streets 15 years ago I didn’t have a choice. Circumstances in life took all choices away from me. I ended up on Hollywood Blvd selling pictures of my iguana to tourists to survive. It was the very worst period of my life. The hopelessness was so unbearable I don’t really understand how I made it through the madness. But I did, and today, I actually look back at it as a “blessing”, because today I am sober. My life changed for the better, yet the fear of becoming homeless is strong.

So what is home?  I will be homeless for the remainder of this year, but it is by choice. So am I really homeless? Is homelessness really about a structure or the loss of choice?

My friend Alan Graham turned me onto eight characteristics of home, as outlined in Beyond Homelessness.

1. First, home is a place of permanence. To be “at home” somewhere is more than simply having a place to stay.
2. Second, a home is a dwelling place. A home is not just a place of permanence, for home is not the same as house.
3. Third, home is a storied place. A house becomes a home when it is transformed by memory-shaped meaning into a place of identity, connectedness, order and care.
4. Fourth, home is a safe resting place. In contrast to a war zone, a site of danger and fear, home is a refuge, an asylum of safety and security. Home is where one can be relaxed and at ease rather than tense and anxious.
5. Fifth, home is a place of hospitality. At home, we take family in; ideally, we also welcome the stranger because we are at ease, without fear.
6. Sixth, home is a place of embodied inhabitation. We not only shape a place according to our own home-making ways, but we are shaped by the places we inhabit. Kimberly Dovey observes: “We not only give a sense of identity to the place we call home, but we also draw our identity from the place.”
7. Seventh, home is a place of orientation. From home our world is made meaningful.  Away from home we become homesick.
8. Eighth and last, home is a place of affiliation and belonging. Think of the resonances of home team, hometown, and homeland. Home is where we find our place and gain our identity.

I really love the eight characteristics of home and believe every homeless services organization should adopt this as a guideline to help our homeless friends.  But as a read it I still wonder what is homeless. I would love to hear what you think about this so please comment below.

As with most anything there is a paradox in life. As I find the courage to face my fears I am also finding freedom. The fear is still strong but as I get closer to making huge life changes I start to dream about future possibilities. It is in those possibilities I find the strength to move forward and face my fears.

In less than 30 days I will be homeless. But this time it is a good thing.