Archive for the 'Learning' Category

Bless me or bless you?

For the last 5 years I have worked in churches that were 75% focused on “bless me bless me” instead of blessing others. It was not until I needed help because I did not have money or food that I consciously saw the fallout from that style of ministry. When people focus on becoming a millionaire their hearts change. When leadership’s primary teaching is about receiving instead of giving, even though helping others is mentioned, giving unselfishly never becomes a priority or a lifestyle. A generous heart cannot grow when a person is constantly praying to receive. 

A short time ago I had to apply for food stamps. Very humbling to say the least! At one point I was down to 3 cans of tuna. I found there are some very unselfish and genuine people in the world and I am in awe of the sacrifice they made to help me out. But none of those people attend a “bless me” church.

I say all that not to criticize the “bless me” churches, but to slap myself in the face! Thank goodness my original Christian foundation came from an outreach focused church because I continue to always put others before me, yet I am not proud of what I did or who I became these last several years. I compromised what I know to be right in so many ways.

Last week a couple handed me a large envelope of cash.  The week before someone filled my fridge and another person paid my mortgage. When I told my best friend he said “God blessed you” yet I disagree! God does not bless with a new car or a fat check. God blesses with challenges that help you grow. We are confused. We all run around seeking “blessings” from God that are for the most part material stuff we’ll end up selling on craigslist. The new car only blesses for a short time as you show off to your neighbors. We are being trained to be selfish “bless me bless me” so we perceive, for the most part, that the only blessings from God are material or financial.

In my adult life the biggest blessings I have ever received where 1) homelessness 2) divorce 3) unexpected unemployment. Why would I say that? Because in each situation I grew to be a better person - I was truly blessed!

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What I really wanted to say!

Ahhh the feeling of freedom after being repressed. 

For some time I was not allowed to be myself. To be completely honest I was employed at a place where people are not allowed to be honest and have to say things like “we are receiving our healing” instead of saying “I am sick” or “I have a cold”. Although I completely agree with positive thinking this type of environment is far from positive. People are scared to be real and it encourages people to be superficial. Even though the assumed intent is to create a positive workplace it actually produces the opposite since honestly is repressed!

When I wrote this post what I really wanted to say is:

If the local drycleaner cares more about people, genuinely cares more about people then the local church - there is something seriously wrong with the church!

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Shunning is horrible

Shunning is not of God. It is a form of manipulation and it is wrong. Usually people who shun others justify their actions with rationalization. “We’ll allow God to work” is one.  Truth is by shunning you are limiting God by only allowing one solution to an issue. Just maybe God wants to teach a person how to have healthy confrontation and to communicate openly and honestly. Another reason people shun is to avoid confrontation.  It is easier to avoid then to deal with an issue or person.

If you are a leader in an organization that shuns people – stop it! It is wrong. Learn to have healthy communication with people.

If you are an employee in an organization that shuns people – run away as fast as you can!

If you are a member of an organization that shuns people – leave immediately!

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slowly coming back - topic: strategy

Here is part of the great post Phil Cooke wrote about strategy:

But I’m shocked at the number of people that just keep doing the same thing year after year as if the direction of the ministry, audience numbers, response, income – whatever, will magically change.   But getting from point A to point B doesn’t happen by accident.  It happens through a well thought out plan.

And by the way – when it comes to churches - changing graphics, cool music, lighting effects, or dumping the choir robes isn’t a strategy.  That’s just re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic.   You need a fundamental re-think of what story your church or ministry is trying to tell, what that means to your audience, how to connect with that audience, and why it’s absolutely urgent they respond right now.

I could not resist posting a comment. I am really getting the itch to blog again so even though I am not taking hn.com life just yet, I thought I would get a fix. Here is the comment. Please know this is not negative. It really is positive because if more people would actually have the courage to be honest then the church would become self-aware and actually be effective.

Personality driven church leaderships unconscious need for control always seems to override what is the right and quite possibly the most effective choice. They will say they want growth, yet in reality they just want to be the boss. More often than not these authoritarian style leaders hinder their own church growth.

It is not uncommon for the pastor’s wife to gather together a team of people who have no real experience in fundraising to sit around for an hour or more to “guess” out a strategy. No data is gathered and there is no research – just verbal guessing as to what may be effective. Everyone gets pumped up because they now feel important and heck, this stuff must work since they saw it used on TBN. The only real requirement to be included in the team is that the person will NOT be completely honest since the last thing leadership wants is the real truth. Even the selection of the team is a guessing game so several of the people chosen have no business being in a strategy meeting. A time and productivity waster all around!

Although a plan is made it really just sends the organization into busy mode wasting resources and time. If success happens it only is a result of the law of averages and luck. A proper strategy crafted by professionals would not only save time and money it would achieve the desired results quicker. Unless the desired result is to feed control issues than the ego would be bruised if a professional is consulted and Lord knows the King can’t have that.

It always amuses me that church leadership will contract an accounting firm because they see the worth in hiring a professional for those tasks, yet when it comes to marketing most believe they are “gifted” so they chose to shoot themselves in the foot. One pastor I know contracted a web designer and just told him to make the site. The designer lives in another state and has never been to this church. He is given no information at all yet instructed to make a “cutting edge” website. When I brought this up over dinner conversation the pastor said he didn’t have time and it was the web guy’s job anyway. I tried to explain the importance of a web presence and the ignorance in not giving the designer any direction or data, yet it fell on deaf ears. Another ministry I know sends out direct mail each month for two separate campaigns yet gives no information to the writer. The writer just guesses on content twice a month. Yup, true story. There is no strategy, no measuring effectiveness, and they continue to send out two mailings each month simply because “that is what ministries do”. Even though the ineffectiveness and the amount of money wasted has been brought up in the past they continue on as is. Same with TV, thousands of dollars spent each week for a show that has no direction. It is just there and the correct decision is either to put resources into the show or get off the air. Of course, the occasional ego boost the pastor receives in public keeps the show on the air. The sad part is this is not just one ministry but many.

Pride and ignorance don’t see themselves in the mirror. For the most part these are good men and women who are just blind. Can you just imagine how effective we could be if we had the courage to be completely honest with ourselves and became self-aware?

 

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Whatever God!

As I was driving to Nashville in a crazy snow storm to speak at NRB I received a devastating phone call. Well, it should have been devastating since I was being delivered some very bad news.

For about the last 10 months I have been through hell. I have been beat down to where there is absolutely no fight left in me. Everything that has happened, all the misunderstandings and whacked perceptions are so weird I cannot even explain it.  The end result is I am now back in extreme debt and I am very close to losing everything – again!

When I was homeless I had nothing to lose. The stress this time is insane and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the fear sometimes is almost paralyzing.  I don’t dwell on the fear and I always do my best to stay positive, but sometimes it just slaps me in the face.

Now here is what is interesting (at least to me).  As I was driving through that snow storm this past Friday, and hung up the phone after receiving very bad news, I said out loud, “whatever God” with a smile on my face. I had peace about my situation. It was as if I completely surrendered and raised the white flag. 

The National Religious Broadcasters Convention, I thought, would be all business. I never expected to get anything spiritual from the event. I was wrong! Saturday morning a friend talked me into going to hear Phil Vischer speak. Phil is the original creator of Veggie Tales and to be honest, talking vegetables have never done anything for me. I would have never gone to hear Phil without some coaching.

It was amazing and just what I needed to hear.  Phil had everything and then lost everything yet God continues to do an amazing work in his life. There was a God purpose in everything! He has now started Jelly Fish Labs. The name alone is worth going to the session. A jellyfish cannot completely control where it moves. Phil’s talk is encouraging and spiritually enlightening and I highly recommend you buy the CD. RB-S01 Reach Keynote Session - Phil Vischer.

While driving I also listened to a leadership series by Andy Stanley that is probably some of the best teachings I have ever heard.  If you are going to only buy one teaching series in 08 make it this one! It will change your life. Buy it for your pastor, leaders and friends. The church is changing. Leadership is changing! Everyone needs to hear this: The Best of Catalyst – Andy Stanley Buy this teaching and share!

I don’t know what is going to happen in my life. God has stripped me of everything before so I would pay attention and let Him drive. I don’t know if that is the case here, but this last week, in the face of severe darkness, I was blanketed with a peace that could have only come from God.

Whatever God, although scary, is a very good place to be!

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I am headed to Nashville.

I am speaking again at NRB this year. It really is an honor (and a miracle) that anyone would ask me to open my mouth. I get a daily quote from Carl’s Quote of the Day and here is the one for today:

The human brain is a wonderful thing.  It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
–George Jessel

I am not so much concerned about public speaking as I am about having to listen to country music everywhere. That will be torture.  Truthfully I am really excited because my life is about to drastically change in the next few days. Also I get to hang with some very cool people and catch up with old friends!

Phil wrote about NRB and you can read his post here

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People hate change - continued

This past Friday afternoon I had a business meeting and the people I went to LA with had to go fend for themselves.  Upon their return I asked them where they went. They responded Taco Bell! No, they were not kidding! Going to Taco Bell in the Echo Park area of Los Angeles is like going to Pizza Hut in Rome, Italy (if there is one).

Later that night we were looking for a place to eat and they all wanted a chain restaurant even mentioning Applebee’s. 

What is interesting is if you asked these people about change they would say they love change. The truth is most people don’t. We gravitate to what is familiar – always!

In producing Christian television almost yearly every pastor has asked for a new show open. They feel they are not being progressive if they don’t have change. Now, if there is a ministry or strategy change then YES change the show open. If not leave it. 60 Minutes has had the same clock open for over 20 years for a reason.  Secular shows DO NOT change their show formats or opens because they know we are creatures of familiarity.

Keep in mind when you change stuff you make people feel uncomfortable!

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I’m famous in Los Angeles

I always laugh when I am recognized in Los Angeles. See I moved to LA to get my big break, which I did - I met Jesus.

When I walk down Hollywood Blvd or the Promenade in Santa Monica I am just like everyone else. When I walk around in Skid Row I am recognized and too me that couldn’t be any more perfect!

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Mixing from the front row.

I have worked in several churches where the senior pastor mixes the live sound from the front row. Not in every church but in most. They figure out a form of communication to the soundman and make constant changes all throughout the worship.

Here is a truth. Mixing from the front row only feeds control issues and DOES NOT make the sound in the room any better.  The front row usually gets a lot of bleed from the stage sound. Also, front-of-house speakers are usually not positioned to give the best sound to the front row.

I agree there needs to be communication from the front row to the technical people. As someone who has run operations from the front row of several churches I mainly communicate about multi-media issues and not sound.

I was speaking to a pastor who leads a small church and constantly mixes from the front row. I tried to bring this to his attention. That it might be better to focus on the sermon then always tweaking the sound. He responded “if the sound for worship is not right then I will not feel comfortable.” I do somewhat see his point, but because sound is subjective to personal taste, he really is being self-centered. Church should be about the people not the pastor. If the sound is bad in the middle of the room the people will not feel comfortable. Too me, it is more important that the people in the room have a good experience then the pastor.

Unfortunately because mixing sound from the front row is more of a control issue than anything else pastors may never change. Pray for your soundman. It is a thankless job!

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I am normal after all - continued

Tony referenced a great article by Andy Stanley that EVERYONE should read. Oh my goodness, it’s titled Challenge the Process and it is so good I will post some (ok most) of it:

I think there’s something in every leader that yearns to try things in new ways, to test the status quo–to challenge the process. If you’re a leader, you’ve probably had similar experiences all your life. Leaders are constantly evaluating and critiquing the world around them.

When most people are moved by a message, we leaders are busy examining the structure of the presentation. Where the average person enjoys a great conference, we’re fixated on the methods that made it successful. There’s something in every leader that seeks to understand the process at work behind the scenes.

The rest of the world is quite the opposite. In fact, it’s human nature to gravitate toward the familiar. And left to themselves, virtually every person and organization is in a subconscious pursuit of the status quo. Eventually they will find it. And they will work very, very hard to stay there.

In a changing world, familiar is no measure of effectiveness. And the status quo is no benchmark for long-term achievement. That’s why the world needs leaders to venture boldly into the unfamiliar and to embrace the uncomfortable–because the best solutions are often found in unfamiliar, uncomfortable places.

The instinct to challenge the process is a fundamental quality of every leader. When God created leaders, he equipped them with an unsettling urge to unpack, undo and unearth methods. This explains your tendency to question everything around you.

It’s the reason you have such strong opinions–and such a strong desire to share them. God wired you that way. Deep in your heart you may feel that if you were in charge, things would not only be different, they’d also be better. This is not a problem of arrogance or pride. It’s simply the way God wired you. It’s a good thing.

Unfortunately, your zeal for improvement isn’t always appreciated out in the real world. As a matter of fact, your natural bent for leadership sets you up for resistance from virtually all sides–including other leaders.

And unless you understand the nature of these dynamics, the very instincts that qualify you for greatness can also lead you to disqualify yourself and sabotage your opportunities. Effective leadership means learning to challenge the process without challenging the organization. There’s a fine line between the two. But it’s a crucial line.

The first line of resistance the leader faces is the organization itself. As we’ve already mentioned, organizations don’t like new ideas. It’s enough of a challenge just figuring out the old ones. So the last thing an organization wants is someone suggesting that we need to start all over again with a different process. Your supervisors, advisers, elders, deacons and staff all feel pretty much the same way. Since human nature is to seek a place of equilibrium, change is seen as a disruption of progress.

The second line of resistance you face is from other leaders. You might think you’d find an advocate in this group. But, by nature, when you challenge a concept, you challenge the conceiver. You don’t mean it that way, but that can be how it’s often perceived.

Many talented leaders have “led” themselves right out of a job because their desire to challenge the process was misunderstood, or perhaps even threatening, to those in charge. While on the other side of the spectrum, many skilled leaders have resigned themselves to conform to the status quo, squelching and squashing their natural instincts because there’s no obvious opportunity to be who God made them to be.

As leaders, we must keep a sense of diplomacy without shrinking from our scrutinizing nature. When you stop challenging the process, you cease to be a leader and you become a manager.

I have been sitting here for several minutes in awe. I don’t really know what to say. This is such a great article. Thank you Tony for posting this. And thank you Andy Stanley! Thank you! 

I was at the Outreach Convention in San Diego this past November and I started to be convicted about something I was feeling and doing.  My wakeup call started when Pastor Craig Groeschel spoke. He told the story that starts in Mark chapter 2 where four men dug through a roof to get a disabled person to Jesus. Pastor Craig went on to ask “when was the last time you went through a roof to bring someone to Jesus?”

That really hurt me. Honestly it was a hard slap in the face. See, for the few months leading up to that trip, I was apologizing for being so zealous about doing ministry with excellence. I started to become passive, even allowing mistakes to happen just so I could fit in and keep the peace. I was actually starting to feel bad about the passion I have inside me.  It was a new and strange feeling to me because all of my life I have been rewarded for my passion and work ethic.  I was even starting to hate my gifts but now at least I have some understanding.

God did an amazing work in me. I don’t want to believe it was for me to simply step aside and become stagnant. I was the type of guy who would go through the roof and face any challenge to bring Jesus to people. That guy is coming back. I will never again feel bad that I am so passionate about ministry and excellence!

You can buy the entire Challenging the Process message plus 5 other great leadership messages on CD by clicking here or here! I just ordered mine and I cannot wait to hear the whole thing.

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Downsizing for freedom!

A very wise man once told me to never acquire more then will fit in a pickup truck. 

As I prepare to drastically downsize my life for a third time I am reminded that I am being penalized again for amassing too much stuff! It is really not the stuff but the choices I have made that is the cause. The choice to follow the paths of others instead of finding my own. The choice to do what everyone else is doing! The choice to play it safe by seeking security and not freedom!

It is how we a