This week I happened to have one of the most amazing experiences of my Christian walk. So amazing it might be considered a miracle. It was to me!

My boss held a “debrief” meeting to openly and honestly address a few concerns employees had about an all staff meeting held a few weeks earlier. In ministry, that alone was amazing because open and honest communication is often suppressed. As the meeting started we all got on the subject of saying “The Lord said…” and my boss, who was leading this meeting, said something like “we won’t have any, ‘and God said’, because when you say, ‘and God said’, how can you argue? God said it and that is that. We want truth and not manipulation.”

WHAT! No lightening? No locust? No one was fired for saying something that was straightforward and real?

As a team we then went on to discuss how the older generation of Christian leaders use “and the Lord said” as a form of manipulation. These are not bad people, they just don’t know any better. It is how they were taught because their leaders did the same thing. Chances are, God didn’t say anything and they are simply speaking their own personal wants. By adding “God said” it has to be God since he/she is a pastor, right? So you do it, believe it, swallow it, and the only thing God said is, “I didn’t say that”.

Too me, that is using the Lords name in vain. Yupper our grandmothers all used that scripture to keep us from swearing, but let’s be real. God’s name is used far too often for stuff He had nothing to do with, and mostly by pastors and their wives!

We also talked about how voicing a difference of option is NOT a rebellious spirit. And if anyone tells you it is a rebellious spirit they are trying to manipulate you. WHAT! Are you kidding me? How can that be? Question the man of God? That is what we are taught so we keep quiet and the church remains sick.

Many of you who are regular readers of hn.com (I can recommend a good clinical physiologist) know I have been writing about how the “old school” style of authoritarian leadership in the church MUST change, and is changing because of the internet. In posts like It’s too late for Jerry but is it too late for the church? I write about the lack of self-awareness and in A marketplace flop – how do you deal with failure? I write about what happens when organizations are not honest. Pretty much you can find that theme evolving throughout this blog, but for the most part it was my gut.

This last week I had a conversation with one of the most brilliant leaders nowadays who is literally influencing positive change throughout the Body of Christ. We were on the topic of how toxic leaders in the church world suppress honesty because they would have to face the false reality they have created. A reality that keeps them in an “ivory tower”, and keeps their church from truly being effective. Worse yet, these church leaders have a horrible effect on the views of the unchurched.

As we talked further and I continued to get more and more thrilled, without any prior communication my gut feelings were being echoed. We touched on the subject of change and how the internet finally gave suppressed believers a vehicle to speak open and honestly. Church leaders could no longer manipulate us into silence, and that not only is a good thing – it is a God thing!

I have to honestly say I am once again in awe of what God has done for me. I believe in the church yet after working the last 5 years in fulltime ministries that suppress the truth and refuse to see realty I was starting to give up hope. God has placed me in an organization that allows open communication and is on the forefront of change for thousands of churches, and a local church where loving people is not a pretense and much more than a tagline.

Leaders, if you don’t allow your people to speak openly and honestly you are closing yourself off to reality. If you only allow your opinion chances are you are a toxic leader and you hinder your own personal growth, and your own minsitries growth. You cannot control people’s thoughts so you might as well know what they are thinking. Open communication is healthy and it will lead to healthy change. Yes, there may be conflict but by running from conflict you are causing more harm than good. Only by working through conflit can we find real love.

If you are an employee or volunteer in an organization that does not allow open communication, and you have respectfully tried to influence change in a positive way to no avail – leave! The organization is not growing in a healthy direction and in time you too will become unhealthy. It is ok the leave. It is not a sin no matter what you are taught. You will be better off in a ministry where God can use your gifts and talents than remaining with a supressive leadership that is more concerned about control than doing what is right and truly being effective.

How can we encourage healthy change and healthy communication in everything we do?