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Great post – Receiving Honor vs. Requiring it!

As I read this great post Receiving Honor vs. Requiring by Ben Arment I was reminded of a story an usher once told me. Between services another usher went up to a pastor to encourage him in his own way and said “pastor, you must have drank Red Bull this morning! Your sermon was awesome”. The pastor then intimated the usher up against the wall chastising him harshly for using the wrong protocol to address a “Man of God! “. I believe in the pastors mind he was correcting (what he felt to be) a mistake yet in reality he was creating separation.

One ministry staff member told me he was passing a pastor in the hall and casually said “hey pastor”. This staff member was then severely chastised for a lengthy period of time just like the usher.

Funny, these are the stories told of this man to people on the outside!

True honor can only be earned. Disciplining someone for not addressing you the way YOU want them to address you causes a loss of respect and separation – not honor or attraction!

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This entry was posted on Monday, July 21st, 2008 at 4:37 pm and is filed under My Big Mouth. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • http://www.holycowablog.org Michael Buckingham (holy cow)

    Good stuff…I said it there and I’ll say it here, one of my pet peeves is the requirement to call the pastor’s wife Pastor Sandy, or Miss Sandy…we end up worshiping these people and it’s just an abuse. Even for those who don’t ‘require’ it, they shouldn’t be allowing it.

    It’s kind of funny that we call people Pastor. That’s like walking down the hall and someone saying to me “Hello Creative Director”.

  • Radonda

    You know, in this book I’m reading about spiritual abuse, it says that Pastors often use these tactics because they suffer from intense insecurity. But the truth is, Jesus dealt with this issue in Matthew 23 where he cautioned the Pharisees by telling them to be careful who they call Rabbi because the truth is that they only have one Master and that they are all brothers…and don’t call anyone Father because there is only one Father and he is in Heaven…and be careful about calling yourself Teacher, because the ultimate teacher was Jesus, the Christ. He went on to say that he would be better for them to take on the role of servant because the day will come that whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Now the apostle Paul went on to say later on that these titles should be used but only if they denote a function, which of course would again require servanthood. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t use titles to describe functions within the body of Christ such as spiritual fathers, mothers, teachers, leaders etc. But I will say that I think it is sickening when we use a title that should describe our function to elevate ourselves over people or to demand our brothers and sisters refer to us as someone on the same level as Christ. Because in my humble opinion, we all need to worry more about acting like Christ than being perceived as being Christ. Just a thought…..

  • http://hardlynormal.com hardlynormal

    Thanks for the great comment

    This week Pastor Jack Hayford, the president of the FSQ denomination, a very well known and highly regarded pastor, came walking through the offices taking a moment to greet everyone. Some people stood up from their desk chairs, most didn’t, some said hello, some said hey, some said hi pastor, at each stop of his “tour” he was greeted completely different from the next. The only thing that stayed the same was how he loved on everyone with a huge smile! It was really awesome and brought this post to life.

    During my first trip to Sudan a female pastor also went along for the first time. Everyone called her pastor, but me. It was not out of disrespect. She simply was not my pastor. Of course, she kind of in her own way demanded that she be called that. I refused. She was a very nice lady but when she demanded to be called pastor I lost respect for her.

    One of the many things I love about the Dream Center is there is no religious spirit. People are allowed to be themselves.