I know this is somewhat of a repeat, but the book “Forgiving The Unforgivable” by Beverly Flanigan continues to have a profound impact on me and it is worth posting again! A friend lent me this book to help with some childhood issues. I have now read it twice and as I learn to forgive, sincerely and genuinely forgive, I not only can literally feel my character grow – I feel freer then ever! The book is filled with so much great insight the following four quotes are just an extremely small sample. I highly recommend this book!

• ”A [seemingly] unforgivable injury is a profound and irreversible assault on the fundamental belief system of the person who has been injured…It is not the battering but what happens to a battered woman’s beliefs as a result of the battering that makes [the injury seemingly so] unforgivable…[the most serious] injuries separate people from the very ideas they once believed were true–beliefs about themselves, the world, other people, good and bad, right and wrong, the future, and even the validity of the history they have shared with the person who hurt them…The forgiving process is one in which both morality and meaning are defined and redefined until the world again makes sense [to the person injured].”

• ”Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting…A wounded person cannot–indeed, should not–think that a faded memory can provide an expiation of the past. To forgive, one must remember the past, put it into perspective, and move beyond it. Without remembrance, no wound can be transcended.”

• ”Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope, a reorganization of thought, and a reconstruction of dreams. Once forgiving begins, dreams can be rebuilt. When forgiving is complete, meaning has been extracted from the worst of experiences and used to create a new set of moral rules and a new interpretation of life’s events.”

• ”In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person.”

Beverly Flanigan – Forgiving The Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate Wounds

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