Two forgotten words

For the last few hours I have been really thinking about the message Mac left me and what really makes a good friend. Trust me, I am far from perfect especially in relationships and even though it has never been intentional I do sometimes hurt the people I love. We all do!

I hear the words commitment and loyalty used over and over again however, in today’s world it seems their meaning has been forgotten. Even the word integrity is used quite frequently although to have integrity you must be loyal and true loyalty is very rare these days.

I believe that God works through commitment. I have learned this in several of my relationships both professional and personal. Since I am an extremely loyal person I find it easy to commit. Once committed, if something goes wrong, even if I feel I have been wronged, I still stand strong. Because of this I am forced to grow, to get better and to become the person God wants me to be.

If I run from a relationship or professional situation every time there is a challenge, or something that I find offensive, I seriously stop growing. I heard Brian Tracy once say that if you sat in a closet alone you would never grow. The only way to develop character is dealing with problems that have hair! Ya it is hard! Especially when we don’t get our own way but that is when we grow the most.

Of course, there will be conflict in any relationship. Conflict is not a bad thing and any healthy relationship will have healthy conflict. Healthy conflict occurs when people talk about the issue at hand avoiding personal attacks, looking for the best solution and being emotionally honest with each other. Some people tend to avoid conflict often replacing it with an artificial harmony or they will dissolve or sabotage the relationship. If you are committed to the relationship either professional or personal, and there is conflict, you are then forced to work everything out even when you don’t want to. Forgiveness, grace and longsuffering are the tools needed to resolve all conflict and grow!

There is a good book or audio CD titled “The Peace Maker” which gives a biblical guide to resolving conflict and I highly recommend this book. The truth is all anyone needs to do is read Matthew 18: 15-17 and make this scripture a lifestyle.

Mac Gober does not know much about me and the basis for his comments today is the relationship I have with Chris Phalen. Even though I love Chris like my own brother I seriously try and put the same values, passion and commitment into all of my close relationships. Chris and I have had some severe conflict but we remained committed to our friendship and we both have grown.

I love David Hanley with all of my heart but there was a time when we didn’t speak to each other. Because we were both committed to the same vision and to our relationship today I consider Dave and Gina family and I always will.

When my wife left I stood for the marriage for three years! Most people thought I was crazy but God radically changed me for the better during those three years. It was my commitment to the covenant I made with Him that I held onto until I was released that made all the difference.

For my last illustration I will use a professional relationship. I am just one of thousands of homeless people who have passed through the Dream Center. Who knows how many people have gone through their discipleship program. In some way God used the Dream Center to help each and every one of us and we should all be grateful. To be completely honest, I know people that were drastically changed during their stay at 2301 Bellevue yet because something happened that offended them; they hold resentments for the very place that gave them a new life. Pastor Tommy told me I am one of the few who returns yearly to say thank you. I could have easily found stuff that offended me about the Dream Center but I am committed to that relationship and because of that loyalty God continues to bless me.

Funny because when I started this blog I was just going to focus on achieving a spirit of excellence and I have kind of gone in a different direction. Truth is I am just being myself and I find it hard to be anything but myself! Please hear my heart and know that I do not believe I am all that. I have much to learn. The examples I gave are not to bring attention to myself but to illustrate how God does an amazing work when we commit to something.

When you run from commitment you are really being selfish. You are thinking more about yourself then the other people involved. The real truth is that by being loyal and committed, especially when times get so bad you want to run, God will use that perseverance to make you a better person!

So I have spent today thinking about all of my relationships both good and bad and where I need to change. It really has been a great day.

Thoughts?